Dancing is one of the most romantic activities of all time. Perhaps it conjures images of a classic waltz in historical dramas or Disney movies, or slow dancing at a teenage disco or prom night. It can even be traced back to the most traditional folk dances that recount tales of courtship. Not only can dance bring more romance to your relationship, but this fluttering feeling can also be experienced by dancing alone. Romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love, and dance brings those very qualities to life. Here are five reasons why I believe dance can bring more romance into your life:
Ever felt your cheeks warming to the sound of a deep bass, or a pull on your heart strings from the shrill of a violin? We have a natural sensitivity to music, and even more so when we take the time to slow down and listen. When you dance, you drop into your body, and the music becomes your guide. You begin to intuitively associate sounds with movements, but also feelings that you wish to express. In today’s fast-paced world, we sometimes rush through life, and lose our sensitivity in the process. But isn’t it a shame to miss out and be blind to our emotions? Sensitivity is an important quality in romance. It means the ability to understand and care for the feelings of others and avoid them harm. This, for me, is socio-emotional intelligence. Studies have even suggested that dance can serve as a form of emotions-sensitivity training, finding that experienced dancers tend to have higher sensitivity to others’ feelings.
Beauty is subjective. Our perception and mindset can play a huge role in seeing beauty in each and every thing around us – if we take the time to look around us. Have you ever felt particularly romantic after witnessing beauty around you? The VIA Institute lists appreciation of beauty & excellence as one of its 24 character strengths under the pillar of transcendence. It describes physical beauty as something that can also be auditory, tactile or abstract, but most importantly as something that creates a sense of awe and wonder – two emotions that are strongly linked to romance. For me, beauty is created through interpreting and conveying emotions through movement. These can range from high-energy kicks and bouncing movements that instantly provoke joy, or delicate hand decorations and sweeping arms that create a sense of floating fragility.
“Dance is a silent conversation” said Belisario Betancur, a former President of Colombia in an interview recounted with great affection in my dance-travel memoir Finding Rhythm. Dance allows us to communicate with another human being without words, through a bridge that connects the body, mind and soul. Through its silence, we communicate in a way that is more vulnerable, honest and authentic to our emotional state. We allow ourselves to be fully seen. In partner dancing, the leader-follower dynamic acts as a question to which there is always an answer, as well as cultivating a sense of trust. As a follower, you allow yourself to be guided by another, and learn to surrender control in the process. When dancing alone, it allows you to cultivate self-trust by engaging in this silent conversation with yourself and move freely based on your intuition and emotions.
This silent conversation is part of a deep connection shared with yourself, your dance partner, and the environment that you are dancing in. Connection to self comes from being fully present, out of the auto-pilot of day-to-day life and awakened in consciousness. Because dance requires you to make sometimes unnatural movements that are different from those of day-to-day life, which is why it wakes us up and makes us fully conscious. When dancing, you focus so intensely on your balance and breathing that you form a deep connection to yourself. And when dancing with a partner you share that balance and breathing with another person through a shared connection in movement. Dancing with a partner also forms a more intimate connection through the very mystery and excitement that defines romance. Finally, dance creates social connection to our wider environment, whether it’s to the local culture or simply the unity that can be felt dancing in a crowd (pre-covid of course). This is because dance creates a bonding experience, for instance shared emotions during a performance.
Dance is my love language – that’s probably nothing new to those of you that have been following me for a while. As I reflected upon in my book, could it be that “couples who dance together, stay together?” Dancing is a way to flirt, express and show interest in another through movement. It’s also a form of contemplation and appreciation of another human being. But it doesn’t need to be limited to romantic love. Dancing with strangers at a salsa or tango night for instance, requires us to adapt to partners who may come in all shapes, sizes and abilities. Dancing requires total acceptance of the other, through a sense of empathy and tolerance as you share a tender embrace. For me, there is a deep sense of humanity and love when you hold the hands of the stranger and look into their eyes for the time of a song.
If you would like to experience how dance can bring more romance into your life (boyfriend optional!), I’m hosting a donation-based Romance workshop with special guest Elizabeth Lara from Guatemala. We’ll be discussing romance as a concept and sharing our story, followed by beginner-friendly dancing with a beautiful blend of ballet, tango and bachata.
Behind every dance, there is a story. This book will take you dancing from New York to Buenos Aires, immersing you in the local culture, history, and happiness with every dance step. Aliénor Salmon is represented by Gregory Messina of the Linwood Messina Literary Agency.
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