Unexpected lessons dance will teach you about leadership

What are the qualities of a good leader? You may have an image of someone running a company or a large team, with a large office or impressive job title, or someone who commands authority. But the truth is that good leadership comes from a deeper part of ourselves.

Dance taught me so many unexpected lessons about leadership, especially in how to lead from the heart. As a huge fan of Brene Brown’s book Dare to Lead, I believe that leadership comes from a place of vulnerability, authenticity, trust and courage. Being ourselves, in the most authentic and vulnerable way, is not a weakness, it is a strength that makes others feel safe. I believe that all of us are leaders, and at the very least, certainly the leaders of our own lives.

So here are some of the unexpected lessons dance taught me about leadership:

1. We are all worthy of a stage

Does the idea of stepping up on stage terrify you? Think about why it does. Many of us struggle with issues of worthiness and try to avoid stepping into the limelight. We make ourselves small (something made worse by our “desk hunch”) rather than taking up space and allowing ourselves to be seen by others. When you dance, whether on stage, in a social environment, or on stage, you are exposing yourself to the eyes of others. This brings up fears of judgement, discomfort, and uneasiness. What helps me is to feel that whenever we are dancing in front of others, we want to transmit emotions to the audience (and that audience could even be yourself in front of a mirror). You are simply being yourself in your own body. This alone makes you a leader. It gives you the responsibility to transmit joy and love over fear and dread.

2. How to be a good listener

Good leaders don’t only talk, they listen. Dance taught me how to listen: to the music, the rhythm to my heart, but also to others. I had to listen to my dance partners as they guided me through different steps. The beauty of the leader/follow dynamics in partner dances is that the follower also gets to lead in a silent conversation made up of questions and answers that require teamwork. Imagine in a (pre-covid) social context where you are dancing with up to 20 different strangers in one night, you need to be able to adapt to each of them, understand how they move, and what feels safe to them. As a woman who is used to taking charge in life, I had to learn how to be led, requiring me to let go of control and surrender to another human being. This doesn’t mean losing power, it means developing the skills in adaptability, flexibility and intuition that will make you a better leader.

3. Setting boundaries

Dance, and especially partner dance, teaches you how to set boundaries. You set physical boundaries around yourself, even if dancing alone, setting limits of space and time to dance within. When dancing with a partner, you learn to set boundaries about the space you want to take up, and whether you want to invite your partner to join you in that space. You can also place other boundaries on distance and touch, choosing what kind of “frame” or physical “cues” are comfortable for you as a follower or as a leader. Finally, dance teaches you to set boundaries on time and energy. Just because you like dancing doesn’t mean you need to dance to every single song at a social (or these days to a playlist at home). Honor your limits by dancing with quality rather than quantity based on what you most need.

4.  Establishing presence

You don’t need to be loud or talkative to have a powerful presence. Most communication is non-verbal, and dance is the perfect example of how you can authentically express yourself, and communicate who you are in a new way. Dance teaches you incredible posture, where you keep you back straight, your shoulders back and your head held up high. This alone makes a difference in affirming your presence when you walk into a room. Taking up space through movement is another form of expressing yourself and establishing your presence, for instance creating large shapes with your arms, or doing a double spin, can be louder than words.

5. Resilience and perseverance

Dance teaches you that you need to fail over and over again until you can finally succeed, whether learning a new step (or anything in life). There is no success without effort. Failure isn’t a weakness, it’s simply part of learning. Failure IS success. Accepting this allows you to learn perseverance, where you keep going even when things are difficult. Practicing this in dance allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life. Learning perseverance leads to resilience when confronted with obstacles that come our way, and to overcome them with less fear and anxiety than before.

6. You inspire what you exude – choose joy

Whatever you wish to inspire in others – your team, your friends, family or community – is what you should exude. They are your mirror. Dance helps you develop a sense of confidence to express yourself more freely and allow yourself to feel joy. By choosing joy you are allowing others to choose joy, by showing love you are inspiring others to show love. In dance, you learn how to lead a crowd  through emotions, or a moment. As a leader, you alone are responsible for what you wish to exude, and therefore, inspire in others. See your happiness as a generous act to others.

If you would like to learn more about how dance can help you develop your unique leadership ability, you can sign up here to join my next workshop on Leadership hosted by me and the beautiful Brielle Friedman who will be guiding us through movements that will teach us to lead from the heart. If you can’t make it live, you can always catch the replay!

*Photo of Brielle Friedman, a leadership and creativity coach and salsa champion, dancing on stage *